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Immigration Forum / USA Marriage Base / May 2005Trapped in USA with no way home
I am a UK citizen and came over with my wife who is a USC. I came over on the VWP intending to return within the 90 days. Due to a change in circumstances involving my wife's children, I decided to file for AOS. I have not yet heard back anything about my application. For reasons i'd rather not go into, me and my wife have now mutually decided to split. While I am not in immediate danger of being kicked out on the street, the situation is becoming increasingly arkward. I have now been here over 90 days and my return ticket has naturally expired since I was originally planning on returning within the 90 days. I have no money, no return ticket and am stuck here with my wife, her children and her sister and the arguments are starting to get out of hand. I have asked my wife for the money for a return ticket but she is more concerned with keeping her money to get a house for her and her kids (which I can understand). She works but says it could take 3-6 months for her to get the money for a return ticket. We jointly own a car together but she is being very arkward about selling it since she needs it for her work and it's not worth that much anyway. I have nobody over here to turn to. My family in the UK have very little money. I just feel so helpless and stupid for getting myself into this situation. Can anyone please suggest anything I can do to get home? Would the British Embassy help, or is that just being naive? Paul :( > I am a UK citizen and came over with my wife who is a USC. I came over > on the VWP intending to return within the 90 days. [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > > Paul :( What the hell? A ticket back to the UK is not that expensive,,, Less than $500. Is there no one who could loan you that much? Personally I feel here in the US $500 is not really a great amount of money (especially here in California). No relative back home willing to help? Patrick  Signatureinquisitive40 > I am a UK citizen and came over with my wife who is a USC. I came over > on the VWP intending to return within the 90 days. [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > > Paul :( Hi Paul, Sorry to hear of your dilemma. If you were added to any of your wife's credit cards, you can go ahead and purchase your ticket with that card, and leave. Just a thought to try. As Patrick said, a ticket is only around $500...not *that* much...there must be someone you know either in USA or UK willing to pay your way and you can pay them back. Best Wishes, Rene > Hi Paul, > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > Best Wishes, > Rene I know $500 is not that much, but I really don't have anyone I can turn to. The only people I know in the USA are my wife's family and they're less than helpful at the best of times. I will try contacting the British Embassy / Consulate. > I know $500 is not that much, but I really don't have anyone I can > turn to. The only people I know in the USA are my wife's family and > they're less than helpful at the best of times. I will try contacting > the British Embassy / Consulate. Is there nothing you have bought jointly other than the car that you could possibly sell in order to pay for the ticket. Although you have been out of the UK for a while do you not have a credit card you could use from the UK? Another option is to go to the airport explain your situation to the airlines and in extreme cases they have been known to give away seats if they are going to be empty anyway for a minimal or sometimes even no fee if they really beleive you are genuine. It is an extremely low chance of it being successful but u never know until you try. > Is there nothing you have bought jointly other than the car that you > could possibly sell in order to pay for the ticket. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > you are genuine. It is an extremely low chance of it being successful > but u never know until you try. Also is there any evidence you jointly bought the car? if so you can insisit she sells it or at least pays you back your half of what it is now worth, i know this is harsh and if you still have feelings for her it may be difficult but if it is over and you are divorcing isn't it your right to sell it or have her 'buy you out'. If you are going down the divorce route isn't half of everything yours anyway? i'm not a lawyer nor do i understand how it works when you both have different nationalities. > Also is there any evidence you jointly bought the car? if so you can > insisit she sells it or at least pays you back your half of what it is [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > lawyer nor do i understand how it works when you both have different > nationalities. To be honest my half of the car probably isn't worth the cost of a ticket home. I did already ask her to sell the car and it ended up in a massive argument. She thinks it's selfish for me to make her sell the car when she needs it for work. If I make her sell the car then she has to give up her job, plus she just found a house and wants to move in there rather than worry about sending me home. I'm trying to keep things peaceful here but my wife isn't exactly being helpful in resolving the situation. I am trying the UK Consulate to see if they will loan me the money for a ticket. I will also try the airlines to see if there is anything they will do. Thanks Paul > To be honest my half of the car probably isn't worth the cost of a > ticket home. I did already ask her to sell the car and it ended up in [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > Thanks > Paul How did you pay the fee? has it already been taken? if not you could try contacting them and see if there is a way you can cancel your application. alternatively if you never want to go to the US again then you could cancel it yourself if it hasn't been taken although i am sure this would upset the government and harm your chances in the future. As for your wife not willing to sell the car or help you in any way, in my opinion she doesn't sound as though she is being very fair to you and if that is the case why should you be fair to her if she cannot extend the same courtsey, it sounds like you still have feelings for her which is understandable but it really sounds like the feelings aren't mutual and if that is the case you need to push your feelings aside and insist she helps you or you will be entitled to half (dependant on law as mentioned earlier) of any assets, which i assume would be able to get you home once sold. If you were to give her an ultimatum i am sure she would find a way to get you a ticket home rather than lose her job and her potentional new home. I really hope you do manage to get things sorted out in one way or another but due to her attitudes unfortunately it doesn't appear it can be sorted out in a friendly way. Is there any law firms that offer free advice on divorce's and you entitlements it looks increasingly likely this may be the route you have to take. Although seeing as you are overstaying your welcome so to speak it is quite possible the UK embassy would help. > How did you pay the fee? has it already been taken? if not you > could try contacting them and see if there is a way you can cancel [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > have to take. Although seeing as you are overstaying your welcome so > to speak it is quite possible the UK embassy would help. I sent money orders. I have no idea how to cancel my application. I don't care about coming back over here anytime soon, I just want to go home. I don't think she is being fair either. I can see why she is acting in this way, she doesn't want to lose her job, she wants a house for her and her children. But she seems to be ignoring the fact that I am here with no way home. > I sent money orders. I have no idea how to cancel my application. I > don't care about coming back over here anytime soon, I just want to [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > and her children. But she seems to be ignoring the fact that I am here > with no way home. there is your answer give her an ultimatum a quick and easy uncontested divorce (make sure she buys your ticket before you sign anything or get it in the divroce that she will pay for it) or you'll file divorce and take half of everything ruining any chance of her getting her house she is after or keeping the car. It's harsh but the way she is being it is not undeserved. > there is your answer give her an ultimatum a quick and easy > uncontested divorce (make sure she buys your ticket before you sign > anything or get it in the divroce that she will pay for it) or you'll > file divorce and take half of everything ruining any chance of her > getting her house she is after or keeping the car. It's harsh but the > way she is being it is not undeserved. All we really own is the car. We don't own a house, we are living with her sister. She has just found a house to rent and is borrowing from her sister to move in there. I'm not even worried about filing for divorce right now. All I need is to get the hell out of here before things get out of hand. Since the car is jointly owned, do both owners have to be present to sell it? > All we really own is the car. We don't own a house, we are living with > her sister. She has just found a house to rent and is borrowing from [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Since the car is jointly owned, do both owners have to be present to > sell it? have you tried calling the embassy yet it really is probably your best option. If you do give her the ultimatum and she still refuses then getting legal permission to make her sell the car is likely to be a long process also she may well then kick you out and then you'd be homeless not ideal. If the embassy does not work out i just had a thought that may or may not be successful have you tried an organisation such as YMCA see if they have any ideas or would sponsor your flight home, with a view to you paying it back. they only spring to mind because they sponsored me for a J1 visa a couple summers back and were financially responsible for me whilst i was here, may be a long shot though. > have you tried calling the embassy yet it really is probably your best > option. [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > couple summers back and were financially responsible for me whilst i > was here, may be a long shot though. Did you apply for EAD when you applied for AOS? That would allow you to work in the US but may be some time before you get it. Seems to have speeded up, but could be a month or two. And I take it that you have no Credit Cards, seems odd travelling, or living nowadays without one. I suppose you could turn yourself into the USCIS and get deported, sounds a bit drastic though. > Did you apply for EAD when you applied for AOS? > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > I suppose you could turn yourself into the USCIS and get deported, > sounds a bit drastic though. I didn't apply for EAD when I applied for AOS. I don't have a credit card, only an ATM card for my UK bank account which doesn't have any money left in it. I was thinking about getting deported, but only as a last resort. I didn't think it would be a very good way to get home. I presume they wouldn't just stick me on the next available flight! > I didn't apply for EAD when I applied for AOS. I don't have a credit > card, only an ATM card for my UK bank account which doesn't have any [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > didn't think it would be a very good way to get home. I presume they > wouldn't just stick me on the next available flight! So have you tried any of the options like the UK embassy because i am sure people would like to know the results. > I didn't apply for EAD when I applied for AOS. I don't have a credit > card, only an ATM card for my UK bank account which doesn't have any [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > didn't think it would be a very good way to get home. I presume they > wouldn't just stick me on the next available flight! Have you talked yet to the UK embassy? I'm sure they have some good suggestions to avoid getting deported. Rene > Have you talked yet to the UK embassy? I'm sure they have some good > suggestions to avoid getting deported. > > Rene I'm waiting for them to get back to me on my situation. > All we really own is the car. We don't own a house, we are living with > her sister. She has just found a house to rent and is borrowing from [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Since the car is jointly owned, do both owners have to be present to > sell it? My thinking is that if your wife's sister has enough to lend your wife for her house to rent, then she has enough to lend for your ticket home, as well. I think it depends how the title to the car is worded. Does it say: Your name AND your wife's name? Your name OR your wife's name? Your name AND/OR your wife's name? Kind of joking here, but you could pack your things and go hang out at the airport terminal like the move "Terminal" and see what happens if they won't let you on any flight back home. It might attract enough media attention to get someone sympathetic to buy your ticket home. Personally, I wouldn't have any problem taking that route, myself. :) Best Wishes, Rene > My thinking is that if your wife's sister has enough to lend your wife > for her house to rent, then she has enough to lend for your ticket [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > Best Wishes, > Rene Lol yeah and it was a good movie too and i am sure the american press would love this to happen in real life. Worse case scenario is you get arrested tell the police you have been kicked out by your wife and you have no where to live and they will probably get you sent home anyways. > Lol yeah and it was a good movie too and i am sure the american press > would love this to happen in real life. Worse case scenario is you get > arrested tell the police you have been kicked out by your wife and you > have no where to live and they will probably get you sent home > anyways. If I ever get home i'm thinking of writing a book about my experiences. Maybe they'll turn that into a movie. I don't think there has been a dull moment since I arrived. What am I supposed to do to get arrested? From my experiences with the police here they would probably lock me up for a few hours/days and then release me. A few weeks ago my mother in law held my passport and immigration papers 'hostage' and refused to give them to me because my wife owed her $50. I called the police, explained the situation and asked if there was anything they could do. I was told there was nothing they oculd do and that I should go get an attorney. :( > If I ever get home i'm thinking of writing a book about my > experiences. Maybe they'll turn that into a movie. I don't think there [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > anything they could do. I was told there was nothing they oculd do and > that I should go get an attorney. :( Wow that is pretty amazing i feel so blessed that my MIL is so fantastic and such a nice person too. > My thinking is that if your wife's sister has enough to lend your wife > for her house to rent, then she has enough to lend for your ticket [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > Best Wishes, > Rene She isn't rich or anything, far from it infact. She had some backpay from child support. I already asked her if she would lend me enough for a ticket home and she says that she hasn't enough to lend my wife money for her house and my flight. So basically, she'll lend it to my wife for a house but not to me. Think it says my wife's name AND my name. And I just watched that movie a few weeks ago, didn't think i'd end up starring in my own version! ;) > She isn't rich or anything, far from it infact. She had some backpay > from child support. I already asked her if she would lend me enough [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > And I just watched that movie a few weeks ago, didn't think i'd end up > starring in my own version! ;) I believe if it says AND, then you'll both have to sign it, unfortunately. I'm so glad to see you still have your sense of humor. I'm sure that is helpful right now, with all the stress you have going on. Keep that sense of humor going, it will help in the long run. :) Rene > I believe if it says AND, then you'll both have to sign it, > unfortunately. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Rene One more thought....do you have a wedding ring or a watch you can hock? ;) Rene > One more thought....do you have a wedding ring or a watch you can > hock? ;) > > Rene Lol very good thought and one you wouldnt think of straight away, going on what he has said about their finances if there is one i doubt it will be expensive enough to get a flight home. > Lol very good thought and one you wouldnt think of straight away, > going on what he has said about their finances if there is one i doubt > it will be expensive enough to get a flight home. Probably not, but it might give him some cash in hand, just in case...if he's as broke as he says, I'd take pretty much any cash right now and save it up. To the OP...getting an attorney is an excellent idea. Call around and see if there are any divorce/immigration attorneys that will see you on a pro-bono basis. Also, about being arrested...I was just thinking if you got the media down at the airport, it would cause enough stir that people might make donations to your flight home. The media might write it up as a human interest story. I don't think you'd get arrested right off the bat. Rene > One more thought....do you have a wedding ring or a watch you can > hock? ;) > > Rene One wedding ring, scratched, probably worth about $30. One digital wristwatch, strap broken, probably worth about $5. ;) > One wedding ring, scratched, probably worth about $30. One digital > wristwatch, strap broken, probably worth about $5. ;) Anyone know where I can sell a kidney, lung etc? > Anyone know where I can sell a kidney, lung etc? i heard ebay is good for selling things, depending where you are based you could go see the local gangster i'm sure he will find someone who needs one and will give you a few thousand dollars for your trouble and if you get caught worse case scenerio you get sent back to england, but then arrested for taking part in illegal activities. > One wedding ring, scratched, probably worth about $30. One digital > wristwatch, strap broken, probably worth about $5. ;) How did you end up in this situation was there no way of seeing it coming before the marraige? > How did you end up in this situation was there no way of seeing it > coming before the marraige? I met my wife on the internet about 3 years ago. I travelled over to the USA and met her family etc. She and one of her sons then travelled with me back to the UK. We married in October 2002 and we all lived together for about 3 years. Due to problems with her other 2 children (who had stayed with their father in the US), we travelled back over to sort things out. Our relationship has been under a strain since coming over here. I've been aware for sometime that the relationship was probably heading for the rocks, but I guess I didn't want to face up to it. > I met my wife on the internet about 3 years ago. I travelled over to > the USA and met her family etc. She and one of her sons then travelled [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > aware for sometime that the relationship was probably heading for the > rocks, but I guess I didn't want to face up to it. if you are both broke, whom is the co-signer on the affidavit of support? > if you are both broke, whom is the co-signer on the affidavit of > support? There isn't one he was there under VWP as he had a flight back but didnt take it. > There isn't one he was there under VWP as he had a flight back but > didnt take it. If he just filed AOS, and she earns less than the poverty line, then I think he must have one. I bet you the co-signer would lend him $500 to bugger off. > if you are both broke, whom is the co-signer on the affidavit of > support? My wife's grandma is co-signer. She won't lend me the money either. :( > My wife's grandma is co-signer. She won't lend me the money either. :( tell her it's either that or bankruptcy. > tell her it's either that or bankruptcy. Is the I-864 enforceable if he hasn't had his AOS interivew yet? > Is the I-864 enforceable if he hasn't had his AOS interivew yet? dunno. but If I were Grandma, I wouldn't like that bet. $500 is better than $20,000 a year in welfare bills. > tell her it's either that or bankruptcy. Good point but Manc where would he go to get the ball rolling ie to enforce that she has to support him or pay for a flight home, would he go to the american equivalent of the UK job centres or what? i'm sure he would not know and some pointers would be appreciated. > I met my wife on the internet about 3 years ago. I travelled over to > the USA and met her family etc. She and one of her sons then travelled [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > aware for sometime that the relationship was probably heading for the > rocks, but I guess I didn't want to face up to it. internet is such a wonderful invention except right now i bet you wish you never went near it. If things were fine here why not try and persuade her to come back to the UK with you and bring the kids then she will be willing to sell everything in order to come back with you, or is the relationship truely irrecoverable. > internet is such a wonderful invention except right now i bet you wish > you never went near it. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > everything in order to come back with you, or is the relationship > truely irrecoverable. I wish i'd never gone into that damn chat room. :( She won't leave the US since she is in the middle of a custody battle for her son. The father still has custody of her daughter and she only has temporary custody of her daughter until the court case in a few months. It's not like even if she wanted to come back to the UK she/we have a lot to sell. The only thing of any real value is the car and that's not worth a lot. To me it feels like the relationship has gone past the "point of no return". > I wish i'd never gone into that damn chat room. :( > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > To me it feels like the relationship has gone past the "point of no > return". dude Grandma has signed a affidavit of support to support you. kick back and let the bills for Grandma come rolling in. make the $500 to send you home THEIR problem. bull headed I know. but bollocks to them. Manc. > dude > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Manc. yeah it's not as if you want to stay in touch after all this crap they have caused you anyway you gotta start thinking of number 1 and number 1 only go sign on or whatever the equivalent tell them that the sponsor won't help you out because they can make sure of it. > yeah it's not as if you want to stay in touch after all this crap they > have caused you anyway you gotta start thinking of number 1 and number > 1 only go sign on or whatever the equivalent tell them that the > sponsor won't help you out because they can make sure of it. I agree. they'll soon send your a.s home once they realise they are legally responsible for your ENTIRE financial well-being until you are self sufficient (usually 10 full years of employment I believe) > I agree. > > they'll soon send your a.s home once they realise they are legally > responsible for your ENTIRE financial well-being until you are self > sufficient (usually 10 full years of employment I believe) Oh and cos I'm a mean spirited bas*ard. I'd get a copy of the Affivadit of support and go to the hospital quite a few times too. Every single ache and pain mate. > Oh and cos I'm a mean spirited bas*ard. > I'd get a copy of the Affivadit of support and go to the hospital > quite a few times too. Every single ache and pain mate. HAHAHAH yeah from what i've read 20,000 will soon turn into 200,000 go break a leg that will give them a hefty bill PLUS you will have somewhere nicer to stay with more friendly people in it :) > I agree. > > they'll soon send your a.s home once they realise they are legally > responsible for your ENTIRE financial well-being until you are self > sufficient (usually 10 full years of employment I believe) But that is the crunch ... they aren't. He has not interviewed yet and the I-864 has not been accepted by the CIS since he has not been approved. I know some say yes, and some say, no. I'm one of the naysayers. SignatureI'm not an attorney. This disclaimer is valid in NYS! > But that is the crunch ... they aren't. He has not interviewed yet > and the I-864 has not been accepted by the CIS since he has not been > approved. I know some say yes, and some say, no. I'm one of the > naysayers. So rete is there anyway that he can get the money order back? if he phoned them maybe? or is that completely out of the question? > So rete is there anyway that he can get the money order back? if he > phoned them maybe? or is that completely out of the question? Nope that is the problem with money orders. You can try to stop payment but too complicated to do so. He is stuck. But at least he can plan to work in a few months and earn the money he needs to travel home. If Manc as a yeasayer is correct, pmd can get a divorce attorney to sue her to for alimony because she has to be sure that he lives at 125% of the poverty guidelines. SignatureI'm not an attorney. This disclaimer is valid in NYS! > Nope that is the problem with money orders. You can try to stop > payment but too complicated to do so. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > sue her to for alimony because she has to be sure that he lives at > 125% of the poverty guidelines. I dunno. but as I said, if you are wifey and Grandma, are you willing to take that chance? seems to me, that he needs to sit her down and fully explain the affivadit of support (without the bit which says it may not be enforceable until after the interview) He needs to calmly and resolutely sit them down and make them know in no uncertain terms that it is in their best interest to give him the money to get home. Otherwise it could and quite probably will get nasty and expensive. > Nope that is the problem with money orders. You can try to stop > payment but too complicated to do so. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > sue her to for alimony because she has to be sure that he lives at > 125% of the poverty guidelines. At least you can stay on the internet all day...somebody else paying for that no doubt.. So 3 days ago you was trying to open a bank account ..where's that money gone ... All very sniffy... > At least you can stay on the internet all day...somebody else paying > for that no doubt.. > So 3 days ago you was trying to open a bank account ..where's that > money gone ... > All very sniffy... Thank you. And the usual suspects all over it. You could earn $1000 in two weeks mowing lawns, working construction. Anything! > At least you can stay on the internet all day...somebody else paying > for that no doubt.. > So 3 days ago you was trying to open a bank account ..where's that > money gone ... > All very sniffy... I am sitting on the PC at my wife's sister's trailer. I was trying to see if I could open a bank account because any little bit of money I do get seems to get spent by my wife. I figured if I could get my own bank account at least I would regain some degree of control over my money. What does sniffy mean? > I am sitting on the PC at my wife's sister's trailer. I was trying > to see if I could open a bank account because any little bit of [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > What does sniffy mean? You don't need a bank account. You need cash in your pocket. When you get cash, don't give it to your wife for her to spend. Keep it in your pocket and don't tell her you have it. Rene > You don't need a bank account. You need cash in your pocket. When > you get cash, don't give it to your wife for her to spend. Keep it in > your pocket and don't tell her you have it. > > Rene He certainly needs money. But can you buy an airline ticket with cash? Certainly not a cheap one, anyway. > He certainly needs money. But can you buy an airline ticket with cash? > Certainly not a cheap one, anyway. You can buy one with cash, I called Continental and they will reserve a ticket for three days. I would need to travel to the airport and pay with cash within the 3 days. > You can buy one with cash, I called Continental and they will reserve > a ticket for three days. I would need to travel to the airport and pay > with cash within the 3 days. How much did they quote you for the ticket? Rene > You can buy one with cash, I called Continental and they will reserve > a ticket for three days. I would need to travel to the airport and pay > with cash within the 3 days. So, you're good to go! Go find some money. Either: 1/ Persuade granny/wife/sil using any pressure you can bring except physical ones. 2/ I have observed that some in life get by holding cardboard begging signs @ the entry to freeways. 3/ I have observed that some in America get paid for the work they do despite the fact they are not authorized to so do by the US government. 4/ Persuade parents or friends in UK to Western Union it. I know they're pensioners, but surely they could borrow this small amount till you can pay 'em back. Ignore the moralists, blamers and whatever on here -- the moralists have their own problems, and if you're a troll (I'm in two minds!) you're a bloody excellent one and should be applauded for building up a good story over several months. > But that is the crunch ... they aren't. He has not interviewed yet > and the I-864 has not been accepted by the CIS since he has not been > approved. I know some say yes, and some say, no. I'm one of the > naysayers. I understand, I'm one of the yeah sayers as the USA don't want thousands of undocumented un processed aliens living on the streets. > I believe if it says AND, then you'll both have to sign it, > unfortunately. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Rene My sense of humour is one of the few good things I have left. Maybe I can sell it and get enough for a ticket! :) > She isn't rich or anything, far from it infact. She had some backpay > from child support. I already asked her if she would lend me enough [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > And I just watched that movie a few weeks ago, didn't think i'd end up > starring in my own version! ;) You keep talking about this house she is buying or at least saving for. What kind of house is it that a miserly 300 to 500 dollars is going to put a huge dent in her savings and make her purchase wait for another 6 months to a year. Jesus, Mary and Joseph the woman was anxious to bring you to the US and marry you so the very least she can do is after marrying you and then telling you to hit the highway is to make sure your trip is speedy by purchasing your ticket. I hate to put people down but she is a loser and in book and you are far too naive to be dealing with international romances. BTW I hope you have luck with the British Consulate, others on here have tried it in the past and were turned down cold. One was a family of a mother and two children with an abusive husband. SignatureI'm not an attorney. This disclaimer is valid in NYS! > You keep talking about this house she is buying or at least saving > for. What kind of house is it that a miserly 300 to 500 dollars is [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > have tried it in the past and were turned down cold. One was a family > of a mother and two children with an abusive husband. Wow really no hope for the embassy then (can't beleive they turned that one down makes me ashamed to be english). On the house front she isn't she wants to rent to save you having to read through everything so thats apparently not an option. > You keep talking about this house she is buying or at least saving > for. What kind of house is it that a miserly 300 to 500 dollars is [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > have tried it in the past and were turned down cold. One was a family > of a mother and two children with an abusive husband. She isn't buying the house, she is renting it. It seems like renting the house is more important than sending me home anytime soon. She said that I was the one choosing to leave and that it was unfair to ask her to give up her new house. > She isn't buying the house, she is renting it. It seems like renting > the house is more important than sending me home anytime soon. She > said that I was the one choosing to leave and that it was unfair to > ask her to give up her new house. so don't leave then. does she still wanna make it work? why not wait until you have an EAD and a second income coming in? > so don't leave then. > > does she still wanna make it work? > > why not wait until you have an EAD and a second income coming in? If I stay I fear I may go insane. > If I stay I fear I may go insane. I don't mean to sound insensitive, but it seems to me that you should actually *do* something rather than post here whining about the inequities of life. You're smart enough to have worked through the immigration process, I can't believe you're suddenly wallowing in a pool of self-pity and unable to fend for yourself. My god, man... get a grip. The only thing worse than doing something wrong, is being so paralyzed by fear and doubt that you do nothing. Ian > so don't leave then. > > does she still wanna make it work? > > why not wait until you have an EAD and a second income coming in? He did not apply for EAD > He did not apply for EAD Why the funk not? jesus..... it's right there in the AOS downloadable packet from the USCIS website. there really is no excuse, unless you filed a bunch of papers you had no idea what you were signing. and at that point, you've stiffed yourself. How deep is Grandma's purse again? > Why the funk not? > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > How deep is Grandma's purse again? and anyway, Grandma ain't likely to know whether she is or ain't liable. It's a significant bargaining chip, regardless. > He did not apply for EAD and Page 6 already. Probably 7 by the time this updates. > You keep talking about this house she is buying or at least saving > for. What kind of house is it that a miserly 300 to 500 dollars is [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > have tried it in the past and were turned down cold. One was a family > of a mother and two children with an abusive husband. How do we know that SHE is the loser? He hasn't shared anything about the breakdown of the relationship. I think it's just as likely that HE is the loser. > How do we know that SHE is the loser? He hasn't shared anything about > the breakdown of the relationship. I think it's just as likely that > HE is the loser. You're right, i'm the loser. Thanks to everyone who has genuinely tried to offer useful advice. I won't bother posting or reading on this forum again. > You're right, i'm the loser. > > Thanks to everyone who has genuinely tried to offer useful advice. I > won't bother posting or reading on this forum again. In my experience, the breakdown of a marriage is the result of both parties not contributing what it takes. Maybe your wife is the loser, maybe you are, but in all likelihood, you both are (with regard to marital situations anyway). That's just the way it works. I don't know you. I have no idea. It's not up to me to judge anyway. It is a little fishy to me that things have deteriorated so completely, but it's really none of my business. I was just commenting on the fact that everyone seemed to be jumping on the "It's all her fault!" bandwagon. > I sent money orders. I have no idea how to cancel my application. I > don't care about coming back over here anytime soon, I just want to [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > and her children. But she seems to be ignoring the fact that I am here > with no way home. Sorry to hear about your "problem." Im curious, why didn't you bring over a few extra bucks? If you were planning on visiting for 90 days certainly you brought at least 3-4 thousand "pounds" to exchange? I mean 90 days is a long time just for a "visit." Were you planning on having your "friend" support you during your stay? Coming up with $500 USD might be diffucult. Call the airlines and see if they offer a cheap "stand-by" flight back to UK. Good Luck, just goes to show what "friendship" stands for in the USA. Your wife should flat out give you the cash and a free divorce, hate to say it but if you can't trust your wife/friends who can ya trust? Sad very sad. david M. > Sorry to hear about your "problem." > [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > Sad very sad. > david M. When we came over we had $5000, now we have nothing. We were planning on seeing a few places and then visiting family in Ohio. We have been staying with family for about 3 months. > When we came over we had $5000, now we have nothing. We were planning > on seeing a few places and then visiting family in Ohio. We have been > staying with family for about 3 months. Have you tried getting a cash in hand job, i mean it is hard to find work like that but there is always somewhere that will be willing to do it specially if something as simple as cleaning or something along those lines, even offering to wash people's car or windows its all cash in hand and you could sell your wedding ring to buy the stuff needed to get started, yes it will take a while to save up enough for a flight home but if you are out and about it won't drag so long and because you won't be home all the time maybe things will improve. > I sent money orders. I have no idea how to cancel my application. I > don't care about coming back over here anytime soon, I just want to [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > and her children. But she seems to be ignoring the fact that I am here > with no way home. It's very likely that she has already moved beyond your relationship, so you no longer figure into anything she's doing. I doubt it's as much a matter of ignoring you as it is a matter of self-preservation for her. Still, it sucks! Ian > Is there nothing you have bought jointly other than the car that you > could possibly sell in order to pay for the ticket. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > you are genuine. It is an extremely low chance of it being successful > but u never know until you try. There really isn't anything else of value I can sell. I did have a laptop but had to sell it to come up with enough money to file my AOS papers. Since I haven't heard anything back about my application (filed last Monday), is there any chance I could cancel it and get my money back there? I don't have any credit cards either. Paul > There really isn't anything else of value I can sell. I did have a > laptop but had to sell it to come up with enough money to file my [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Paul Don't think BCIS gives refunds. Call the Embassy. Whether they can/will help you or not financially, they will know what your options are and tell you. SignatureLion in Winter > There really isn't anything else of value I can sell. I did have a > laptop but had to sell it to come up with enough money to file my [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Paul Use your bargaining chip. You are married, you live in a community property state, blah, blah, blah. She wants you gone? Well then she can spring for the one way ticket back to the UK for you. If she does so, you will sign a paper promising not to hold out your signature on a non-contested divorce with no issue of splitting the property. Hey so it costs her a few hundred. It saves her a few thousands instead. Plus no immigration filing fees involved. SignatureI'm not an attorney. This disclaimer is valid in NYS! > Use your bargaining chip. You are married, you live in a community > property state, blah, blah, blah. She wants you gone? Well then she [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Hey so it costs her a few hundred. It saves her a few thousands > instead. Plus no immigration filing fees involved. I go with Rete. And if you are still living with them, then they will save that amount in a relatively short time on your food and board. I think a lot of splt couples would seems $500 the bargain of a lifetime in these circumstances. I take it that the return element of your flight has long since gone and can not be rearranged. > I go with Rete. > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > I take it that the return element of your flight has long since gone > and can not be rearranged. My flight has long gone and couldn't be rearranged (I did call to find out about this). Maybe if you go down to the airport with your expired retun ticket and tell them your story, they might let you try to get on a flight as a stand by. - Eric S. > > I go with Rete. > > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > My flight has long gone and couldn't be rearranged (I did call to find > out about this). > Maybe if you go down to the airport with your expired retun ticket > and tell [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > > -- > > Posted via http://britishexpats.com I was going to suggest that..... Also, how 'bout Catholic Charities? Might they not be able to help? Or, maybe you were a member of a church? Pastor? Friends in the congregation? Good luck. ~SecretGarden > I go with Rete. > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > I take it that the return element of your flight has long since gone > and can not be rearranged. NO JOKE I got a one way ticket for 100 dollars.... > NO JOKE > > I got a one way ticket for 100 dollars.... so did I but it was from Grand Rapids to Chicago. > so did I > but it was from Grand Rapids to Chicago. $100 dollars buys you a 5 bed house in Manchester - $2 dollars change as well. > $100 dollars buys you a 5 bed house in Manchester - $2 dollars change > as well. Manchester Mississippi maybe. > Manchester Mississippi maybe. well, i'm still waiting for the OP to reply to a few interesting questions. #1 - what has the UK embassy said to you? #2 - looked into a few 'under the table' pay-type jobs (waiter is a #great one) #4 - what exactly DID happen to your relationship? maybe you should have #stayed in the UK until she had everything resolved here. especially #since the monetary conversion benefits UK > US. you could have #continued to work and send her money from time to time. #3 - and basically what are YOU proactively doing to leave the US? i really think that, and sorry if this seems harsh but, stop looking to everyone else to bail you out. i know you're in a tough position but do something about it. you need to resign yourself to the fact that your wife cannot help you - you can't get blood from a stone. you can try as you might to get the co-sponsor to do something, but if she doesn't have the money now either there is f*ck all you can do. i'm not even sure she's legally responsible for you yet. it's really all up to you at this point! again, just putting some truthful thoughts out there. > There really isn't anything else of value I can sell. I did have a > laptop but had to sell it to come up with enough money to file my [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Paul You can stop payment on the checks SignatureI'm not an attorney. This disclaimer is valid in NYS! > There really isn't anything else of value I can sell. I did have a > laptop but had to sell it to come up with enough money to file my [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Paul No and I doubt you'll hear anything for at least 90 days anyways. British Embassy 3100 Massachusetts Avenue, Washington DC, 20008 (202) 588 7800 > I am a UK citizen and came over with my wife who is a USC. I came over > on the VWP intending to return within the 90 days. [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > > Paul :( You say your family doesn't have much money. $500 is say for arguement sake £300. Isn't there ten people in your family/friends that could each spare £30 that is not a lot of money even if there isn't much available one side of my family is not very rich but i think in cases like this if it were to happen they would each contribute towards a plane ticket for me. You must have some friends back in england that could help your family out to its not as if you would not ever repay them. You really should get something underway as soon as possible by the sounds of it your wife may well just decide to kick you out at any moment specially once she gets the new place. Have you taken any action at all yet? you have been given a lot of advice from a lot of people and you should start eliminating each one today before it is to late. BTW how old are you? > You say your family doesn't have much money. $500 is say for > arguement sake £300. Isn't there ten people in your family/friends [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > > BTW how old are you? I don't have a very large family. My parents are both retired and living on a state pension. I have tried friends but no good there. 32 > I don't have a very large family. My parents are both retired and > living on a state pension. I have tried friends but no good there. > > 32 yeah unfortunately state pensions are barely adequate for them to live on let alone have £300 spare. Another option is to get your parents to talk to the local MP about your situation they may be able to get the government to quicken up the response/help they can give you, or find another solution for you to persue. > I don't have a very large family. My parents are both retired and > living on a state pension. I have tried friends but no good there. > > 32 Surely your folks back home have friends or family that would contribute? I don't know...just trying to think of any way at all you can get money in your hands for a ticket. You say you already talked to your airline that had your original ticket, and they were totally unable to help you? I agree with what Rete said earlier, too. Get assertive with your wife. Do the bargaining thing. Your situation is worse than hers. Rene > You say your family doesn't have much money. $500 is say for > arguement sake £300. Isn't there ten people in your family/friends [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > > BTW how old are you? Hi, When I filed papers for my husband in England - I had to file an affidavit of support - she HAS to support you or its a federal offense. Turn her in to immigration. > Hi, > > When I filed papers for my husband in England - I had to file an > affidavit of support - she HAS to support you or its a federal > offense. Turn her in to immigration. Does she have to support me even though the application hasn't been accepted yet? Also supporting me and giving me the money to leave are two different things. > Hi, > > When I filed papers for my husband in England - I had to file an > affidavit of support - she HAS to support you or its a federal > offense. Turn her in to immigration. I don't think USCIS will do anything at this point, if ever. I think the easiest and quickest thing the OP can do, is simply find a way to get the money for the ticket back home. To the OP - weren't you added to any of the bank accounts? You guys shared a life together for 3 years...it's hard to believe you have NO access to ANY of her money AT ALL. Rene > I don't think USCIS will do anything at this point, if ever. I think > the easiest and quickest thing the OP can do, is simply find a way to [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Rene The only joint bank account we had was back in England and that's been sucked dry. My wife doesn't have a bank account over here because she had a problem with someone cashing checks while she was in England. She has been told she can't get a bank account until she sorts all that mess out. All the money comes directly to her in the form of a check which she then cashes. > The only joint bank account we had was back in England and that's been > sucked dry. My wife doesn't have a bank account over here because she [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > All the money comes directly to her in the form of a check which she > then cashes. Here's one more suggestion. I don't know how much cash she gets from those checks, but find out where she keeps the money, and "borrow" enough for your ticket home. Since she's not keeping it in the bank, she must keep it somewhere in the house, or in her purse, and she must go to sleep at some point. Rene > Here's one more suggestion. I don't know how much cash she gets from > those checks, but find out where she keeps the money, and "borrow" [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Rene Yep that's what I do. I'd just make a royla pain in the a.s out of myself. Sit around all day, eat her out of house and home, make a mess of the place while she's at work. You know, be creative! Try and make some money on the side and hide it somewhere. Also, hunt around the house and Grandma's for stuff to pawn..........and when they say, hey do you know where this is? Huh? I haven't seen it. Seriously, get creative and get a frigging backbone pal. Make her life miserable with you there so she'll want you out of her life. They signed the support papers so THEY ARE LEGALLY responsible for you! Make em so sick of you they will do anything to get you home, including buying your ticket! > Yep that's what I do. I'd just make a royla pain in the a.s out of > myself. Sit around all day, eat her out of house and home, make a [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > you! Make em so sick of you they will do anything to get you home, > including buying your ticket! excellent stuff. I was thinking the same thing. I was gonna suggest crapping on the kitchen floor on the way out, but that's taking things a bit far. what's worst that can happen? you have just as much right to live there as they do. affidavit of support and all that.......... > Here's one more suggestion. I don't know how much cash she gets from > those checks, but find out where she keeps the money, and "borrow" [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Rene Oooh, Rene, your true, naughty colors have come out in this thread! :) Keep it up, sister! > Oooh, Rene, your true, naughty colors have come out in this thread! :) > Keep it up, sister! LOL I'm trying to still be nice about it, though. Nothing vindictive, just doing what it takes to survive and get away. I would probably even send that money back afterwards, so as not to have anything hanging over my own head. ***Still waters run deep, eh?*** LOL Rene > I am a UK citizen and came over with my wife who is a USC. I came over > on the VWP intending to return within the 90 days. [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > > Paul :( Does this have anything to do with her children? is that what has changed between you? I wonder if in fact you are being unreasonable and she has every right to be the way she is and you are in fact stretching the truth a little bit in some areas. In your initial post you also said you didn't want to go into detail, seeing as these people are trying to help maybe it would be easier if you did go into the details. I have a hunch which may be wrong but that this 'change in circumstance' of your wife's children, as you mentioned earlier she now has temporary custody of one and i think you said wants the other one to, is what is causing problems between you. Now the only reason i can think of your wife acting the way she is (after sharing 3 years with her) is that it is you that is casuing the problem with the children by not wanting to have them to look after (ie in her residency which implies also yours), whilst i can understand they are not your children and if this is the case you do not want them, the fact that you married her (i assume you knew of these children) then you should accept the fact she wants them back, has it really changed your love for her. If this is the case then i completely support her in what she is doing you married her for better for worse richer poorer etc etc and you should stand by her. You mentioned earlier she wasn't asking you to leave which brings me to the conclusion that it is down to you and only you that you want to leave and not her at all. I may be completely off but something about this whole scenerio doesn't feel right its either that or you are completely lying about the whole situation and wasting everybody's time. > > I am a UK citizen and came over with my wife who is a USC. I came over > > on the VWP intending to return within the 90 days. > > > > Due to a change in circumstances involving my wife's children, I > > decided to file for AOS. I have not yet heard back anything about my > > application. Why not to call your Consulate. I know that at least Consulate from my country helps people to come back to their country. AP > In article <35$301698$2360346$1115663474@britishexpats.com>, > member39496 [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > AP i have only just come across this story, anyone know what happened to this guy? - did he find the money and make it home???, its like picking up a book and finding someone has torn the last page out! Ant SignatureAnt & Jen > i have only just come across this story, anyone know what happened to > this guy? - did he find the money and make it home???, its like > picking up a book and finding someone has torn the last page out! > > Ant Hi Ant, He never came back to tell the rest of his story....yet, anyway. Rene |
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