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Immigration Forum / USA Marriage Base / November 2005What a drama!! Me- US wife - Him - UK hubby
What a drama I'm going through. M & I married in march this year, simple ceremony with non-committal vows (his choice) - we had a 'family' wedding 5 weeks later with the photos, trimmings etc. We applied for I-130 mid April - still waiting. M entered USA in March on VWP and has been back to UK twice since for 1-2 weeks, staying at his folks - so I thought. However, in Sept this year I got an email from a woman who claimed to be his girlfriend in UK - she'd been seeing him for 18 months and had no idea he'd got married. M & I had major talks about this and he promised never to contact her again - well if a gc is at stake he would - wouldn't he. Because of finances he has returned to UK to work until he gets K-3. But it seems he is still seeing her. I know I should just kick him out and stop his process - but when you love someone it's hard to let go. The problem we have now is that when she found out that he was married she wrote to the USCIS telling them a lot of damaging information. M apparently told her that he'd only married me for gc and that he had told me this and I agreed (I married him because I love him) and he had stupidly sent emails to her saying he wanted to still see her. She has sent those to USCIS along with supposed evidence that he always intended to stay in USA even though he entered in VWP. Has anyone ever been in this situation where information has been given to USCIS? Do they ever take any notice of this info? M is still waiting for K-3 and he had to fly to New York for a business meeting last week and managed to get in with VWP. Wouldn't immigration have stopped him if USCIS had taken the info seriously? And before you all tell me to dump the guy as he is a real a***hole - but I have my own reasons for not divorcing him yet. Any one got any clues as to what USCIS might or might not do? > What a drama I'm going through. M & I married in march this year, > simple ceremony with non-committal vows (his choice) - we had a [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Any one got any clues as to what USCIS might or might not do? No, not if you consider that USCIS' left hand doesn't always know what its right hand is doing. It's entirely possible that the information will take time to filter down; it's entirely possible that they'll ignore it; and it's also entirely possible that the information was never actually submitted... hard to tell really! There are, of course, many important gaps in your story but, from time to time, people post such information in the forum. It's difficult to say what will happen, but my immediate advice to you is retain an experienced immigration attorney. There are implications here which may come back to bite you in the arse regardless of your original and actual intent... things like aiding and abetting, and conspiracy to defraud. You need to protect your own interests! I believe there is a process whereby you can withdraw your support under the I-864 and an attorney should be able to help you... you probably want to do this otherwise you may find yourself financially responsible for him for a long, long time... married or not. Ian > And before you all tell me to dump the guy as he is a real a***hole - > but I have my own reasons for not divorcing him yet. > > Any one got any clues as to what USCIS might or might not do? Please tell us the reasons why you would not want to divorce this man. You told us everything else and now you don't give us the last page of the book. > > And before you all tell me to dump the guy as he is a real a***hole > > - [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > told us everything else and now you don't give us the last page of > the book. I love the guy - simple as that - and I suppose I'm hoping that he hasn't married me just for gc. If USCIS decide that he's just married me for gc - then I'll probably will go for an annulment rather than a divorce. So I guess I'm waiting to see what the outcome is. > I love the guy - simple as that - and I suppose I'm hoping that he > hasn't married me just for gc. If USCIS decide that he's just married > me for gc - then I'll probably will go for an annulment rather than a > divorce. > > So I guess I'm waiting to see what the outcome is. Forget what I wrote previously. You need to seek immediate help... see a good psychologist. You suffer from low self-esteem and apparently enjoy being the victim of emotional abuse. You enable your husband's adultery. It isn't a giant leap from emotional to physical abuse. Remember... you read it here first! Do you fully understand what you just wrote? You're handing your life over to the government in the hopes that they will make the decision for you. I guess this is because you don't want to make the decision for yourself. More's the pity. BTW, I don't think annulment will be an option for you. It's sad that you find yourself in this position, but you should seriously think about cutting your losses so that you can move forward with your life. Ian > Forget what I wrote previously. You need to seek immediate help... see > a good psychologist. You suffer from low self-esteem and apparently [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Ian Why thank you for your wonderful support - Yes!!! I am letting my heart rule my head - but sometimes you have to do that in order to see the whole truth. Yes!! I should just divorce him, but if he is denied his visa there is a very good possibility that I will have grounds for an annulment on Marriage Fraud grounds. I appreciate your frank candidness - however, I do like to think that there is good in people and unless he's been conning me for the past three years (that's how long we've known each other) then somewhere in there he does have a heart. As for his fidelity - that's is something we have to deal with. > Why thank you for your wonderful support - Yes!!! I am letting my > heart rule my head - but sometimes you have to do that in order to see [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > there he does have a heart. As for his fidelity - that's is something > we have to deal with. *cough*BULLSHIT!*cough*No, thats something YOU have to deal with. The only way you can guarantee he'll stop porking other women is to give him the old "John Bobbitt," and even then you'll have to remember not to give it back to him... > Why thank you for your wonderful support - Yes!!! I am letting my heart > rule my head - but sometimes you have to do that in order to see the [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > a very good possibility that I will have grounds for an annulment on > Marriage Fraud grounds. Why are you leaving this up to the govenment? Do you anticipate they will launch an extensive investigation to determine if the marriage is fraudulent. > I appreciate your frank candidness - however, I do like to think that > there is good in people and unless he's been conning me for the past > three years (that's how long we've known each other) then somewhere in > there he does have a heart. As for his fidelity - that's is something > we have to deal with. Whether he is marrying you for a greencard is one issue You seem to already know he is unfaithful. Do you think it is only with one woman? What did he say when you asked him about it? Did he agree to stop? I think these are important issues that should be considered BEFORE he gets the visa, if you are the sponsor. > I love the guy - simple as that - and I suppose I'm hoping that he > hasn't married me just for gc. If USCIS decide that he's just married > me for gc - then I'll probably will go for an annulment rather than a > divorce. > > So I guess I'm waiting to see what the outcome is. The immigration process is stressfull, costly and very time consuming. You will also be responsible for this man for up to 10 years once he is in the US. You are his sponsor, once he arrives with his green card and no matter whether you get divorced or not once he is here, you will still have legal ties to him and perhaps even have to support him. I appreciate you decision is a tough one, but really if you think he is spinning you a load of lies, divorce him and move on. It is so much easier to write this and I realise your heartache but if he has a girlfriend in England, then who is to say that it will not happen again, once he is here. I am from England, and I had to wait months to see my US husband until I could fly to the US permanently and it is painful and missing each other is hard work, however not that hard you need to go and find someone else. Don't worry about the USCIS, worry about you, what do YOU want? Good Luck - Emily > The immigration process is stressfull, costly and very time > consuming. You will also be responsible for this man for up to 10 [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > Good Luck - Emily Thanks for your support Emily. Actually, the infidelity is not a cause for concern at the moment. I knew what he was like when I married him and have accepted that he is/was very likely to do it again. But if he is denied his gc - I have to accept that it will be over as I do not see myself living in UK and he desperately wants to settle here in Ca. But if this g/f has sent info to USCIS how serious will they take it? As for supporting him for the next 10 yrs - well can work the other way around as well - he is going to be worth a fair few million if he sells his company!! > Thanks for your support Emily. > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > him for the next 10 yrs - well can work the other way around as well - > he is going to be worth a fair few million if he sells his company!! sorry to be harsh but this totally smells of him playing you for a Green Card. > sorry to be harsh but this totally smells of him playing you for a > Green Card. and her playing him for his 'fair few millions'? Ah, a match made in heaven! > and her playing him for his 'fair few millions'? Ah, a match made > in heaven! I'm not a money grabber - but if he goes get gc and and continues his wandering ways - then divorcing him and getting him where it hurts will be consolation for what he would have put me through..... > I'm not a money grabber - but if he goes get gc and and continues his > wandering ways - then divorcing him and getting him where it hurts > will be consolation for what he would have put me through..... don't hate the player hate the game. GO FOR IT. > don't hate the player hate the game. > > GO FOR IT. IF he has millions then great - you will get half when you divorce him! Having seen more of your story, I really don't see any other option. I believe that marriage is special and for ONLY one man and one woman. You don't want to be miserable for the rest of your life, wondering if it is your perfume you can smell or that of another woman. What if you have children - it is not just your life you have to think of? If you can handle him running off with other women, then why are you marrying him - the love or the money? If you love him that much you would move to England for him! Emily >>don't hate the player hate the game. >> >>GO FOR IT. > > IF he has millions then great - you will get half when you divorce him! By what legal doctrine do you get this?? > I'm not a money grabber - but if he goes get gc and and continues his > wandering ways - then divorcing him and getting him where it hurts > will be consolation for what he would have put me through..... Don't forget you'll be on the hook for financial support of him, even if he is loaded. Anyway, my opinion is you are full of crap, and that you are just trolling here... >> and her playing him for his 'fair few millions'? Ah, a match made >> in heaven! > >I'm not a money grabber - but if he goes get gc and and continues his >wandering ways - then divorcing him and getting him where it hurts will >be consolation for what he would have put me through..... 1) please do your part to keep lying, deceiving people like this OUT Of CA.. We really don't need another one here.. See the recent congressman thing.. 2) How do you know his company is worth anything? Because he "told" you? Because a friend of his told you? Good luck! My sister fell for a guy like this - always a good story, and then he cheated on her.. And he had stories for that too.. He had people willing to lie for him to cover up for him.. If his company is worth a few $$$, he'll have a corporate web site and corporate phone number and secretary you can call.. Have someone ELSE call and confirm that it really exists.. My guess is: he wants an easy life - and you're his ticket for a few years. What if he keeps all his assets in the UK? Do you really think a CA lawsuit/divorce will be able to enforce support from UK assets? What does "non-committal" vow even mean? Is that the "as long as we both love each other" BS? You sure there wasn't any pre-nuptial in there too? If he cheats on you now, THERE IS NO LOVE, period. Love is NOT an emotion - it's choosing a certain course of action. And the course he's chosen is the "I only care about myself" path. MH > Thanks for your support Emily. > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > him for the next 10 yrs - well can work the other way around as well - > he is going to be worth a fair few million if he sells his company!! JeeZ .. My wife is not like you .. If I played away.. I would get to meet her divorce team .. Mr Smith and Mr Wesson..... But perhaps in your case its .. " What's love got to do with it" All sing along now ... > Thanks for your support Emily. > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > the next 10 yrs - well can work the other way around as well - he is > going to be worth a fair few million if he sells his company!! If his company was worth a few million, he wouldn't need a marriage visa to live here. Check out the Immigration website for information on how to get a visa by making a business investment. >>I love the guy - simple as that - and I suppose I'm hoping that he >>hasn't married me just for gc. If USCIS decide that he's just married [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > You will also be responsible for this man for up to 10 years once he is > in the US. Not quite, that is for 40 quarters of qualifying work, I believe. She could be responsible for his LIFETIME. >>>And before you all tell me to dump the guy as he is a real a***hole >>>- [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > So I guess I'm waiting to see what the outcome is. RUN RUN RUN This is stupid. And, what happens to the child if you get pregnant? What about STD's? How is USCIS going to know if he married you for a green card? Why would you let UCSCIS determine whether you should stay married or not? However, if you want to share him, I guess that is your business. If you are ok with him sleeping around, and he will not be a burden to US taxpayers, then it is ok with me. He might not be marrying you for the greencard, but does that mean you are going to accept his girlfriend(s)? >> > And before you all tell me to dump the guy as he is a real a***hole >> > - [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > So I guess I'm waiting to see what the outcome is. Having read the other postings I think you need to get rid of him and get on with your life. I am the husband with the green card and I cannot imagine treating my wife in the way your husband is treating you. Sure money is nice, but it is not everything. I am not regular contributor to this group so I cannot comment on the postings, but from what I have seen the people here are telling you the home truths. > What a drama I'm going through. M & I married in march this year, > simple ceremony with non-committal vows (his choice) - we had a [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Any one got any clues as to what USCIS might or might not do? I've heard of situations where outside parties have threatened to damage gc applications. You never know what the USCIS will do. Some people are always saying how disorganised they are and how they won't pay attention to anything like this unless its really bad, (ie terrorism) but I wouldnt be so sure. > What a drama I'm going through. M & I married in march this year, > simple ceremony with non-committal vows (his choice) - we had a [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Any one got any clues as to what USCIS might or might not do? Curious are the USC and yet you are posting through gov.uk Troll Alert?????????????  SignatureI'm not an attorney. This disclaimer is valid in NYS! |
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